Move, move, move

So, today is Day 5 of the second phase of this journey.  I started changing my habits on July 9, 2013...a day after the visit to my doctor who suggested the MyFitnessPal app to me.  After learning that I had put on 12 pounds in 6 months (all due to stress in my opinion), and not lost weight like I was told to due 6 months ago, I decided to get serious about the business of living life!

So far I have managed to lose 6 lbs (!) and 5 days ago started working with a trainer.  She has been a ray of sunshine!  She reworked my diet, my eating habits and we are introducing exercise into my life.  Now I know how much I love sweat (NOT ONE BIT) but it is a necessary thing to do to make your body happy!  So today I meet her and we start walking and lifting some weights together.....I can't wait to see what hurts tomorrow and how much :)

My preference is to power lift, I would much rather lift weights than do cardio...that's just me.  But with her expertise and help, I know I will do what I have to in order to make this body healthy and happy again.

I am looking forward to moving forward!

A plan

So, started by filling out a questionnaire for my trainer.  Can't believe I can say that word, thank goodness she is a wonderful friend and caring human being, I'm very lucky to be able to utilize her knowledge.  

For today, 100 oz of H2O before 5 PM, after 5 another 40 oz. before bedtime. And every day moving forward,lol. Ditch the bread (crackers, pretzels, etc.) which is easy because we are not big carb eaters anyway.  I have a feeling I won't be saying that phrase often "which is easy".  No more beer or wine, boo....I do love a nice glass of white, but its not the end of the world.

Meeting with her tomorrow to go over my answers, concerns, etc. and form a plan of attack.  I know it's going to be extremely difficult, but I have to step up to the plate and take responsibility for my health!

Forward!!!

Toward a goal

So, I have been faithfully recording my food intake with MyFitnessPal.com and have been surprised to learn a lot of information that is really blowing my mind!  So much about food and it's contents and how much I really should be consuming as apposed to how much I was consuming.  It's a great starting point.  And I say starting because that is not all there is to the journey.  Time to move the body.

I have spoken to a very dear friend and she is willing to take me under her wing, so to speak, and help me on my journey to health.  She is so knowledgeable and I have witnessed her transformation.  It is now time for mine.

Tomorrow starts the next phase....

Here we go...

It has been far to long and I have been far to lazy.  On the road to recovery.  If I write it, I have to follow it, right?  My best intentions are always dashed by my own self-sabotage, I am over 50, barely :) , have Fibromyalgia and don't take care of myself like I should.  Which has lead to yo-yo dieting and we all know how much yo-yo diets work, now don't we......
Taking matters into my own hands, listening to my Dr. and trying to change my life for good.  No sabotage allow.  I have a lot to be grateful for, it is about time I start being grateful for me.
This is day two of a new way of doing things....much research and much learning is going on.  Dr. T suggested MyFitnessPal for me to chronicle my daily food intake, etc.  It is proving to be a really handy tool.. Hubby has also climbed on board and we are in it together.
My goal - to lose 50 crappy, sorry ass pounds that my body should not be dragging around. 
Let the journey begin.

Testing....testing...is this thing on?

Back again after another long break. Testing out the iPad, Barkley trying to climb into my lap, should be starting dinner. Yep. That about sounds right. Oh, and if you press the wrong button, don't panic...just go back and hit the app again it will open right back up. Also, auto correct has its ups and downs. Just sayin.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Still going strong

I am still going strong.  I started this journey 11 days ago, and have gone to eight classes in those 11 days.  Not bad I guess.  Actually, rather amazing!

My plan is to go every day this week, five for five and deal with the weekend when it gets here :).  My postures are really improving rapidly.  But the strange thing is how much I crave the heat of the room.  This is one thing I cannot figure out.  Anyone who knows me, knows how much I dislike the heat and humidity that comes with the summer months.  I am not a sun worshiper at all, avoid the beach, stay in doors when the temperatures get to high, but there is something about the heat of the Bikram room that comforts me.  As the sweat drips down my limbs, as I hold the postures, concentrating on my muscles, and listening to the teacher telling me how to move my body next.  Can't figure it out.  Is sweating a huge puddle in the middle of your yoga mat and being ok with that, different then being slightly overheated and uncomfortable when the temps hit 90 outside?  Definitely, I love the feeling of 90 minutes of 105 degrees and 40% humidity concentrating and moving my body into postures that strengthen and lengthen it, I can do with the uncomfortable 90 degree days....just saying!

Today I got my knee to lock in Standing Head to Knee pose, and I'm working on kicking out my leg.  Tomorrow's another day.  More healthy food, much hydration and more yoga.  It will be a good day!

Namaste..

Dare I say I like it?

So, Thursday's class was really great. I am getting better at my postures, thankfully, and still committed to going as often as possible.  So far I have gone 5 out of 7 days and plan on going tomorrow for the 4:00 class with Ashley.  She wants to try it out.

I have come across some wonderful blogs and have spent a lot of  time reading through them, getting a feel for other perspectives of this thing we call Bikram.

I still cannot understand what it is about this concept that has me so motivated to participate.  90 minutes in a room heated to 105 degrees and 40% humidity is not my usual idea of something appealing.  Yet there is something about this that calls to me, captivates me, draws me in.  Hard to explain.  The heat, the silence, the dialogue the teachers use, the repetition is comforting to me.  Striving to better myself each and every session.

I wonder how long before my eyes will notice a difference in my body....my mind likes the places it goes though.

Chronicles and Time Lines

Health has taken a front seat lately.  I checked with the Bikram Yoga Williamsville studio and Becky, the owner, was more than happy to start my three month unlimited membership whenever I wanted to.  Fabulous, seeing as how I had taken the 10 days for $20 introduction offer last year, then paid for the three month membership and promptly stopped going.  So, Saturday was my first official class.  It went sweaty well!  And I went back again on Sunday and Monday!  Three in a row!  I decided to take Tuesday off, but got right back into it with a 5:00 class on Wednesday.

I cannot believe that I am really making myself accountable and reorganizing my life around this.  Tomorrow will bring either a 6:00 or 8:00 PM class, I think I will shoot for the 6:00 PM. 

I started this journey the week before by organizing the pantries, making shopping lists, writing menus for the week and eating healthier.  I really want to give this year the best I've got, and I believe Bikram Yoga will play a huge role in getting "myself" back.

I'm hoping to chronicle my experiences as a reminder and a motivator, although it might only be a few words here and there, even my knitting time has dropped significantly!  Goodness knows time is at a premium now, but I will make this work!!

Today's class I was able to do triangle pose awesome, and it felt great!  Need to work on balance poses.  Stamina will come with time.
Happy smiley face!

As Promised...warning many photos!

I finally have the photos of last weekend loaded....lots to see, sorry :)

Jordan and mommy saying hello to big brother James.

"Leaving a pumpkin for my big brother"

Listening to grandma read poems and getting ready to send James his birthday balloons.

We remember you James Michael, and think of you every day.

Happy Birthday big brother, I love you.

Me and daddy miss you.

But you are a constant part of our family, every day.
This is how we have chosen to memorialize our little angel.  He is a prominent part of our family, and we miss him every day.  The years have helped to dull the pain of losing him, but we will never be the same without him.  We are so blessed and happy to have his little brother Jordan in our life now.  He is our second blessing from heaven.


The shawl (I secretly wanted to keep, lol!) it turned out wonderfully!

Told ya there were a lot of pictures!  Hope you enjoyed them.  And I am even contemplating writing another entry, with words this time, Oh My!

A little ahead a little behind

I have photos of the weekend, I have to get them up....It was a lovely gathering for James' angelversary.  I cannot believe it has been four years since he came into my life, and four years that I have lived without him.  My heart will never heal, and my life has changed forever.  Rob and I went to see Augusten Burroughs on Friday night and unbelievably he spoke about the death of a child in a persons life, it was incredible.  He spoke as if he had known what it was like.  It was exactly how one feels after the lose of a child, the giant hole in your heart, the crashing, shattering emptiness that is never filled, never goes away, is never healed.  Time goes by and the hole stays.  After a while you can stop the 24-7 flow of tears, the paralyzing anguish, the deep dark depth of pain.  Eventually, the sun will shine again, and the first time you laugh, the guilt is unbelievable, but you do laugh again.  Time will never heal the pain, it only dulls it to the point were you can actually live one day to the next.

New Meds.......day three, fun stuff.  Just want to keep tabs on the progress cause the brain isn't working so well!  Pain still there, but the "ride" ain't so bad, lol.

Finished another Meret Beret, for Danielle.  She likes the one I have made for Sarah and wants one for herself!  And I made another Simple Things shawl  , this one for Michaelene, she needs a little lovin' with everything going on in her life right now.....

I'll be back with pictures later.....

Here we go again

Here we go again, playing catch-up...
Class day

And the prom

Doesn't she look stunning?  He's not half bad either, haha... but then she let's her real personality shine through!!!

You can always count on Sarah to make you smile!
Then came graduation!

They did it!  I'm so proud of them!!!

and it's never a complete celebration without a picture of Jordan...!

Ahh, now that it's over, I can't believe how fast it actually went.  All of my biological children and one step-child are done with high school....on to their adult lives.....only one step-child left in middle school...the house is a quiet place....sort of!  Home is where the heart is, and mom and dad live!  And the washing machine resides and so does the refrigerator and lots of good advice! LOL!

Consistency

Striving for consistency...in this blog.

So much has happened since the last time I have been here.  The Spring Fling was simply amazing!  I am so thankful I had the opportunity to attend and meet all the wonderful people and share stories and laughter!  I will definitely be throwing my hat into the lottery for next year, with fingers crossed!

Sheri, her family and the elves from The Loopy Ewe made the event one of the most memorable and exciting gatherings I have had the pleasure of attending ever.  She is a dynamo with a huge heart and a smile to match!!! Great friends, great food, fabulous teachers, wonderful accommodations, a FABULOUS trip to LOOPY CENTRAL with a whole lotta purchasing going on, how could anyone ask for more!!!  Thanks so much for a grand time!

The following weekend it was off to Maryland Sheep and Wool ~

Enough Said! 


Since then things have been up and down....a confirmed diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, new doctors, lots of research, talk of medications, or not, alternative treatments, etc....
More research, day by day, more information, one step at a time.


On a very sad note, my little brother lost his battle.  He passed on May 21, 2010.  So much to say, no words to say it with.  A long sad story, yet to be told.

I hope you have finally found peace little brother.  Marc J. Wierzbowski

Overload

Seven days till Spring Fling and I am already on overload!  I have mental lists running through my brain.  I suppose I should write some of this stuff down so I don't forget - a wide variety of stuff to bring - from yarn and needles to Beef on Weck....yes you read that right, Beef on Weck.  Don't Ask!

What to wear, check the weather; what I need for class, check the requirements and try and decide; what to work on, OMB just check your wip pile for pete's sake and try and refrain from starting something new "just for Fling"!  And the arrival dinner and meeting all the new people, and the shopping at The Loopy Ewe IN PERSON!...and I have learned there is a Loopy Ewe song, how amazing is that?  Can't wait to participate in that!  I can feel myself getting carried away!  The anticipation is just too much!  I may just bust before next week......I really should make some lists.

And guess what, when it is all said and done, and I have made memories to last a life time and survived laugh headaches that you cannot imagine....I get to come home and get ready for Maryland Sheep and Wool....how awesome is that?

Randomness

Randomness.....I cannot wait till Fling...I may even start to hyperventilate a little bit every time I think about it.  And after Fling comes Maryland Sheep and Wool, amazing!  I simply can't believe that I got lucky enough to be able to go to both events this year.  With all the bad karma lately, this is really a stroke of impossibly good luck!

Happened to score Bugga today at The Loopy Ewe update!  I see four new shawls in my future.  Deciding on four patterns should prove to be interesting.

Deciding on what knitting to take with me to Fling should prove to be interesting!  I have works in progress, but I would love to cast on something new.  I also know that I should NOT attempt anything that remotely needs any sort of attention or counting on my part.  Vanilla socks anyone?  If only I knit socks...no better time to start than now, huh?

I guess I should go attack some of those wips.  See how far I get, then I can decide what's next!

Fabulous Friday

It's Buffalo, April 2nd, and it is 78 degrees outside!  Awesome!  And what a day it's been, great weather, a visit from my favorite little man, Jordan, a trip to see Jon at HOD Tattoo to watch Lynn get her memorial tattoo for James Michael 

and a stop at Louie's for lunch.....

and to top it off, a walk with Millie the older of our two dogs and a "new" used bike that is perfect for me!!!
It certainly is a fabulous Friday!

I did it!

With very little to spare...

Yep, that says 7 grams left....I was so worried I would not have enough.  I am so thrilled that I did. Yarn - Bugga sock yarn by The Sanguine Gryphone Colorway - Bog Fritillary 

  

 






Traveling Woman finished!  Blocking, hoping for sunshine tomorrow to get a really good photo!  Added two extra repeats of chart A...with crossed fingers! 

Next up, another Mara made with this - Tosh DK from The Loopy Ewe!

Cutting it close.....

Only a few more rows to go and the bind off. So, taking bets if I'm going to make it or not.


Traveling Woman shawl, two extra repeats of chart A. Might only be one extra repeat, only time will tell!-- Post From My iPhone

Sunshine on a cloudy day......

Back to the blog....so much is going on.  Most of it not good news.  But this is what keeps me sane.
He's too cute for words...

and I'm so glad he's here.......

Missing You My Sweet Baby James

I cannot believe that it has been three years since you came into this world.  I cannot believe that it has been three years that we have lived without you.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday, and still so many things are so foggy I cannot put two and two together to complete the time line.  They told me I could write a journal, both to remember and to help heal....I thought "how could I ever forget..." but time does make memories fade somewhat - or details a little less prominent.  I wish I would have written the story accurately.  But I just couldn't do it at that time, the pain was too immense, the emotions too raw, my heart too shattered to contemplate reliving it long enough to put pen to paper and make those memories concrete.

My daughter, on the other hand, poured her heart out onto paper, page after page, journal after journal....filled them up with thoughts and words and tears......that is how she was able to breath every day, turning one day into the next, continuing on without you.

I carried the scars on my heart - hate, anger, indifference - I crawled into the pit of despair and did not want to even try to climb out.  Content to stay and lick my wounds, hide the pieces of my shattered heart away.  Time is an amazing thing though, it goes on, as much as we refuse to participate.  And things happen, the seasons change, the sun shines, the stars come out at night....one day turns into the next - people help you and hold your hand, and share their love with you.  And one day isn't so bleak, and then another day I can smile when I think of you.  Your memory brings me comfort not pain, that is how I know it will be ok.

And then one glorious day, you have a baby brother.  You brought him to us safe and sound, to love and cherish.  We make sure he knows that he has the most amazing brother, an angel brother in heaven's garden, watching out for him and smiling down on him every day of his life.

I miss you so much my dear James....I will see you one day, this I know for certain.

In loving memory of James Michael Bargmann, my first grandson, born an angel on October 23, 2006.

Christine, me and Melodie

chris, me & mel
Originally uploaded by otherlucy

The culmination of a wonderful weekend!