Missing You My Sweet Baby James

I cannot believe that it has been three years since you came into this world.  I cannot believe that it has been three years that we have lived without you.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday, and still so many things are so foggy I cannot put two and two together to complete the time line.  They told me I could write a journal, both to remember and to help heal....I thought "how could I ever forget..." but time does make memories fade somewhat - or details a little less prominent.  I wish I would have written the story accurately.  But I just couldn't do it at that time, the pain was too immense, the emotions too raw, my heart too shattered to contemplate reliving it long enough to put pen to paper and make those memories concrete.

My daughter, on the other hand, poured her heart out onto paper, page after page, journal after journal....filled them up with thoughts and words and tears......that is how she was able to breath every day, turning one day into the next, continuing on without you.

I carried the scars on my heart - hate, anger, indifference - I crawled into the pit of despair and did not want to even try to climb out.  Content to stay and lick my wounds, hide the pieces of my shattered heart away.  Time is an amazing thing though, it goes on, as much as we refuse to participate.  And things happen, the seasons change, the sun shines, the stars come out at night....one day turns into the next - people help you and hold your hand, and share their love with you.  And one day isn't so bleak, and then another day I can smile when I think of you.  Your memory brings me comfort not pain, that is how I know it will be ok.

And then one glorious day, you have a baby brother.  You brought him to us safe and sound, to love and cherish.  We make sure he knows that he has the most amazing brother, an angel brother in heaven's garden, watching out for him and smiling down on him every day of his life.

I miss you so much my dear James....I will see you one day, this I know for certain.

In loving memory of James Michael Bargmann, my first grandson, born an angel on October 23, 2006.

Christine, me and Melodie

chris, me & mel
Originally uploaded by otherlucy

The culmination of a wonderful weekend!

Rhinebeck

We came, we saw, we conquered! A proverbial wonderland of fiber and fiber related goodness. That is what awaited us in Rhinebeck at the New York State Sheep and Wool Festival. It was an overwhelming site of color, fiber art and people!

Now, to make things out of all the fiber I purchased!!!

Trying something new

This is what I am working on right now. In the parking lot of the Buffalo News as I wait for Sarah to finish her orientation to become a contributor to the NEXT Publication for teens. I'm planning on having the left one done in time for the Hemlock (Finger Lakes Fiber Fest). Might just be chilly enough to wear them in 20! Days considering the weather lately.

Oh, the new part... Blogging from my phone. I might actually do this more often now! Cool huh?




-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, sun day...

This is what 7 months old looks like!

It is Sunday, the sun is out, but it won't last long...the prediction is, starting Tuesday it will rain for about 5 days...oh well, that is Spring, right? Take it while you can get it.

The house is quiet and I have the entire day to knit. My "room" is organized once again, everything has been put away. I just have a few pictures to take of some new skeins to add to the stash, and then I can either continue on with some started projects or cast on for some new ones.....ahh the decisions I face. Startitis is such a nag. For a while I was overcome with a burning desire to learn toe up socks. I did master the cast on using Judy's Magic Loop method, excellent video done by Cat Bordhi, and that is as far as I have gotten! I can cast on and create the toe section. I purchased Wendy Johnson's new book Socks From The Toe Up but still have not sat down and gone through it yet. I also got Cookie A's new book Sock Innovations but sadly have not really gone through that one either. Oh, I have oohhed and ahhed at the pretty pictures, and dreamed of making all the socks, but that is a far as I have gotten!!

Seems my latest quest is LACE! I must be absolutely crazy, but for some reason the siren song of lace is calling my name. For someone with a year's worth of knitting knowledge and a limited amount of patience, I do not know why she has picked on me???? I have some ideas, and a crazy notion that I might be able to pull it off...and some wonderful friends on Ravelry that are very supportive...who knows, it might work?

Learning something new and such

Jordan - 5 months old - my other obsession :)

Toe up socks, my new obsession. I have to learn how to knit toe up socks. I have learned Judy's Magic cast on....and need to continue on from there and make the rest of the sock. I don't know where the need to conquer this technique came from, but have purchased the required circular needles needed (sizes 2's and 3's both 24") and I have this feeling that I need to finish up my current projects so that I can start knitting toe up socks....notice the plural!!!

Yes, I did say sizes 2 and 3.....I have tried to make socks with size 1's before, only to be disappointed at the outcome...my feet are big, size 9, and I find that my socks need 2's and 3's. I just bought size 3 Kollage needles this weekend to try out...cuff down, Basis Sock Pattern, from the Yarn Harlot's book Knitting Rules. Yes, cuff down, dpn's....not toe up....I was waiting for the circs to come so I decided to cast on cuff downs.....it has got to be STARTITIS......I just have this urge to start new projects.

I am also stash building. It is an important part of a knitters life! I have finally organized my stash and have it documented on my Ravelry page. Almost all updated, except for the new skeins I got this past weekend on our trip to Erie to pick up L and my super lucky Woolmeise update that I happened to hit today.

Well, a blogger I am not....off to pick a project, and finish something!