As Promised...warning many photos!

I finally have the photos of last weekend loaded....lots to see, sorry :)

Jordan and mommy saying hello to big brother James.

"Leaving a pumpkin for my big brother"

Listening to grandma read poems and getting ready to send James his birthday balloons.

We remember you James Michael, and think of you every day.

Happy Birthday big brother, I love you.

Me and daddy miss you.

But you are a constant part of our family, every day.
This is how we have chosen to memorialize our little angel.  He is a prominent part of our family, and we miss him every day.  The years have helped to dull the pain of losing him, but we will never be the same without him.  We are so blessed and happy to have his little brother Jordan in our life now.  He is our second blessing from heaven.


The shawl (I secretly wanted to keep, lol!) it turned out wonderfully!

Told ya there were a lot of pictures!  Hope you enjoyed them.  And I am even contemplating writing another entry, with words this time, Oh My!

A little ahead a little behind

I have photos of the weekend, I have to get them up....It was a lovely gathering for James' angelversary.  I cannot believe it has been four years since he came into my life, and four years that I have lived without him.  My heart will never heal, and my life has changed forever.  Rob and I went to see Augusten Burroughs on Friday night and unbelievably he spoke about the death of a child in a persons life, it was incredible.  He spoke as if he had known what it was like.  It was exactly how one feels after the lose of a child, the giant hole in your heart, the crashing, shattering emptiness that is never filled, never goes away, is never healed.  Time goes by and the hole stays.  After a while you can stop the 24-7 flow of tears, the paralyzing anguish, the deep dark depth of pain.  Eventually, the sun will shine again, and the first time you laugh, the guilt is unbelievable, but you do laugh again.  Time will never heal the pain, it only dulls it to the point were you can actually live one day to the next.

New Meds.......day three, fun stuff.  Just want to keep tabs on the progress cause the brain isn't working so well!  Pain still there, but the "ride" ain't so bad, lol.

Finished another Meret Beret, for Danielle.  She likes the one I have made for Sarah and wants one for herself!  And I made another Simple Things shawl  , this one for Michaelene, she needs a little lovin' with everything going on in her life right now.....

I'll be back with pictures later.....